I don't know which is more shocking...

The fact that muthafuckas DIE in "X3", or the box office records it fucking destroyed this Memorial Day weekend.

Or maybe the fact that it made The Da Vinci Code" its bitch. "X3" grossed THREE TIMES what "Code" did and earned half its production costs back in four days. I guarantee you it will have a stellar second week, too, since all that's really coming out this weekend is some silly, semi-formulaic romantic comedy. Girlfriend-less nerds don't want to see that shit, so they'll just see the X-Men movie (again?), even if its visually lacking in relation to the rest of its trilogy.

In other movie news: I was satisfied to see tepid at-best reviews for Sofia Coppola's upcoming hipster aesthetics-fest period peice "Marie Antoinette." It showed at Cannes last week and everyone was expecting big things. I, however, know better. (Mainly because I find the con- and subtext of "Lost in Translation" vile... don't even get me started!) Ms. Coppola's style and limited filmography is like lavender-colored gourmet cotton candy (yes, they have gourmet cotton candy now), perfect for the O.C. generation: cotton candy is tasty every once in a blue moon and lavender is a beautiful, deep, rich color to be enjoyed by a keen eye, but you're still EATING COTTON FUCKING CANDY. Meanwhile, I'm looking high and low online for some kind of info on David Lynch's new film "Inland Empire" (which was supposed to debut at either the Cannes or Venice Film Festivals) and I find jack squat.

By the way, say "cotton candy" over and over again and it becomes more ridiculous-sounding every time... No, seriously...