Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Writing about writing about music

Ok. Major shit went down this weekend that I didn't even get wind of until Sunday (I feel so ashamed). I compiled my shit yesterday and now I'm ready to post.

First off, that little prick Nick Sylvester (aka Riff Raff) from the Village Voice got what was coming to him for years and years of pretentious, unreadable music criticism. All the better, I say. I hope the Village Voice keeps him in blog purgatory for the next couple of years. Pitchfork fired his ass-- his name isn't on their masthead anymore.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Apparently, Sylvester was assigned some bullshit story about hipsters dating and flirting (there's a book that professional male seducers, or "pickup artists," used called "The Game" by Neil Strauss used as the story's crux) in NYC and he put together "composite of specific anecdotes " together. His sources got called and he totally got pwned. I guess he wanted the story to be really good and edgy. Anyway, the Voice will probably keep him on (like I said, in blog purgatory) and people like myself with have a smug sense of satisfaction equipped with the newly-renewed belief that the people we most dislike have disproportionally bad karma. Why? Because they are terrible, terrible people.

Hopefully, this message to Mr. Sylvester gets out to blog-land:

Mr. Sylvester... Fuck you and fuck your writing and fuck your unfunny satire and fuck your non-sensical froofery. You are a fraud and do not deserve to be where you are now. Your debacle ("Sylvestergate," according to Gawker) proves it. When I am in your position of power and influence one day very soon, I will accomplish twice of what you have. This Nation blog post is probably the most prominent your name will ever get, my friend. Paula was definitely right: "If this kid could've gotten laid on his own, none of this would've happened in the first place."



In sadder news, Chuck Klosterman no longer has consistent work, Sia Michel's fine ass is at the mag no more and I don't know what's up with Alex Pappademas, but he's a cool dude. I hope he stays in gainful employment. Most of Spin's current staff got fucking axed, though. Crazy shit. Is there no rock critic job security?

Sadder news? Andy Pemberton, the frat boy rock critic of Blender magazine, is taking over Spin.

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